I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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