I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
my shit smells like andre
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
