Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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