I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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