A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
