I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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