I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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