Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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