Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
