Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
