I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
