No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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