You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I wanna passion pit in your ass
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
