dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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