bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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