Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
