Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
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I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
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He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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