I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
