My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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