My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
