Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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