Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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