She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
i believe in u and ur pee
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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