i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
