Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
