tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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