his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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