wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize
