True but thats because hes a fetus.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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