hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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