You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
