If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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