Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
