Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
