On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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