I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
