So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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