you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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