i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
