I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i love accidental penises.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
