Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
my sisters under your porch take her home
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
