then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
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Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
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I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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