I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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