just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
