Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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