That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
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