she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
