thus making me awesome and them whores
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
