I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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