I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
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In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
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I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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