Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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