He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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