they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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