I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
