How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize