i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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