You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize