sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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