at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
