When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You were trust falling into bushes
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
