friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
