that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
