Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
