Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
