Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
where am i from again
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
