Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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